Dallas: Who Shot J.R 2013?

Dallas S2 EP8

Hey guys, hope all swell. Better late than never, here’s the write up from last week’s episode. I’m watching episode 10 tonight and will post asap, I promise. In the meantime, enjoy my take on Season 2, Episode 8: J.R’s Masterpiece… 

So, this was the episode the world was waiting for. The one where J.R was laid to rest. There was a change to the opening credits, which set a poignant tone as we bid farewell to one of television’s most enduring, iconic characters ever created. It was always going to be emotional. And my God, the writers didn’t disappoint. Before I get carried away, first things first. The series opened with the Ewings flying into Mexico, where J.R’s body had been discovered, in a rundown motel, of all places. Of course speculation was rife, because our J.R wouldn’t be seen dead in a place like that (pun intended). Still, as the scene unfolded, I found myself questioning the validity of the plot line. Sure, it’s a soap but come on, it’s nice to suspend belief and get sucked into an alternate universe where a mean and brooding John Ross gets handsy with anything that moves, and an equally ripped Christopher Ewing wanders about looking simultaneously hot and clueless at the same time (no mean feat).

Bobby put the Mexico plot in context when addressing the plastic inspector and assembled Ewing party, “None of this makes any sense. None of it.” No s**t Sherlock. (I have frequently thought Bobby should be a Private Investigator Superhero of sorts, he loves solving puzzles for the greater good as was evidenced by his discovery of Emma Brown’s ‘abduction’ a few episodes ago.)

Dallas / EP208

J.R’s funeral certainly drew a stellar ‘blast from the past’ crowd which included Cathy Podewell (Cally Harper) in fine and catty form. The exchange between Sue Ellen and Mandy Winger (Deborah Shelton) was priceless, in which it was established, “JR was hot as Hell and as bad as they come.” Those words should have been etched on his gravestone, (I think JR would approve.) Sue Ellen meanwhile was looking ravishing as ever. Her ensemble at the memorial was sublime (hat tip to her stylist) and I love the way she carries herself. Despite her eulogy to JR starting off with what sounded like an introduction to an AA meeting (“My name is Sue Ellen and I am drunk”) she still managed to look regal and I’m not ashamed to admit that I was a little teary eyed by her touching farewell to the love of her life and general bad egg, J.R.

As the genteel crowd sipped J.R’s favourite drink (Bourbon & Branch) at the wake, it was nice to see that the lovable scoundrel had a good turnout. But as with any worthwhile event, you get a gate-crasher and you couldn’t get a more unwelcome one than the positively elf like Cliff Barnes. Like the scorned wicked witch who turned up in Sleeping Beauty to cause a scene, Cliff rocked up, spouted a few vicious home-truths and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Sorry, I mean he was ushered away by the uncharacteristically sympathetic Rebecca Barnes (the girl still e-nun-ci-ates as if she’s addressing a nation of troglodytes).

Dallas S2 EP8

Cue a hilarious yet totally cute fisticuffs scene which saw Christopher throw the first punch as he leapt to his cousin’s defence. I’ve said this before; I love the chemistry that Jesse Metcalfe and Josh Henderson share. Watching them come together to unravel the mystery surrounding J.R’s death will be moving and entertaining in equal measure, because bless them, they’re not the brightest sparks in the world.

Did you notice the lingering camera shot on Emma Brown? This chick is one to watch. Don’t be fooled by her mainly contemplative demeanour, this girl has issues to fill twenty football fields. At J.R’s wake, she and John Ross shared a pill and a moment, which quickly led to the two making the most of the spacious back seat of her car. Now, two wrongs don’t make a right. But this oddball couple really go well together and I look forward to seeing what the writers have in store for them.

It wasn’t just about J.R’s funeral. Emma’s refusal to see daddy dearest is a nice sub-plot brewing, because a riled Harris Ryland is great fun to watch (you just know things are going to get nasty when he squints and mutters into the camera).

The episode ended on a cliff-hanger (see what I did there?). It transpired J.R was a man on mission in Mexico as Bum’s boxes revealed. No, that isn’t an unfortunate euphemism – Bum really did bring a box and distributed the contents as per J.R’s posthumous request. With Bobby blarting uncontrollably on his bed, it can only be a matter of time before we discover who killed J.R. Apparently, Cliff Barnes and Harris Ryland are involved. Things are about to get out of control, what with John Ross now in possession of a gun bequeathed by his late father. Not having J.R around is going to take some getting used to. But I have a feeling that John Ross is going to be just fine.